In a society that doesn't cherish the good, childhood innocence is discarded as a bygone notion. Parents are increasingly treating their children as peers, and something tragic is being lost in the process.
This is really important and lovely and poignant. I've noticed that children of unmarried parents, or divorced parents, often end up "parentalized," that is, taking care of the parent instead of the parent taking care of them.
In my opinion, the Sexual Revolution redefined childhood. The Revolutionaries needed for the kids to be "resilient" and "sexual beings from birth." If we really see children as innocent, helpless and needy, we adults could not go on gratifying ourselves, and casually switching out our sex partners. We'd be too ashamed. So we redefine childhood.
In short, I really appreciate what you've written here. I actually did a speech a couple years ago about this, and I'm still working out the ideas. The speech was called "The Global Ruling Class Likes Pedophilia." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2TwoYr3TNo&t=283s
Children don't have life experiences, or at least hopefully don't have life experiences, requisite to properly cope with such topics. Consequently they tend to follow the lead of the adult presenting the topic when choosing how to act. Groomers frequently take advantage of this trait in children. Parents who love their children try to install the sense of a loving and safe environment in their young, a sense from which they can draw comfort when confronted with difficulty in life. Christians are able to teach their children about the ultimate source of peace, Christ.
I'm 70 and my mother and father were both kind and loving parents but they made sure not to spoil us. I remember as a toddler being included in the family chores as a fun game to be included in. Soon I was challenged by my Dad once around 5 or 6 when he was taking out the trash and I was going with him and he asked if I was strong enough to carry the trash to the cans. I said yes I was strong enough, the trash bag was heavy for me but my Dad was cheering me along all the way. I remember being out of breath but feeling satisfied I was able to do it. Guess who got the task of taking the trash to the cans after that. Once many weeks later my Dad observed me dragging the trash cans up to the back porch and putting the trash in the cans and then drag the cans back down the driveway to the curb. He asked why I did that and I said "It's easier to drag the cans because they have a handle." He laughed and said why don't you put the trash in the large toy wagon we had and that might be easier. I took the trash down since then in the wagon. Birthdays was one big present and ice cream and cake, sometimes in addition to the big present my mom would include school clothes as my birthday came just before school started in the fall. Christmas was a big deal! Getting the tree was a family affair and everyone got a voice in which tree to get and we all helped tying it to the roof of the car. We put the tree up but did not decorate it until December 23rd as a family and we sang Christmas carols all while decorating it, big fun even in my teen years. Being Irish Catholic we went to midnight mass except for my Dad who never went(because he stayed behind to put all the presents under the tree and assembly any toys that needed it.) and when we returned everything was in place, Santa had come while we were at mass and everything looked beautiful. We were allowed to open one small gift and then to bed. Both of my parents grew up in the great depression and both were veterans of WWII and their Christmas's growing up were not as jolly as the ones they provided for their children. I remember once at 18 I asked my mom once what was the best Christmas gift she got as a child. She replied an orange. I was about to laugh but I saw her looking like she was going to tear up so I stopped held her hand and said I was sorry. She then told me with a smile that having the big Christmas was as much fun for her and my Dad as it was for us! I remember my Dad's words of advice he said a few times "I'll not handicap my children by making life easy for them." We got no weekly allowance for doing household chores, that was doing our part as a family member. If I wanted spending money I had to make it myself. Lucky for me I lived in the times of glass bottles and you could get a nickel for each bottle until they lowered the refund to two cents. I remember well using that wagon to walk up and down the road looking for pop bottles and always finding plenty. Back in those days to sound like an old foggie I could redeem 5 pop bottles and in return get 25 cents with which I could purchase a 10 cent comic book, a 5 cent 7 ounce coke, a 5 cent chocolate bar and a pack of bubble gum. I also collected wild blackberries and sold them to neighbors. As I got older I mowed lawns, shoveled driveways, cleaned gutters, baled hay, broke colts and many other jobs while growing up. Not once did I ever feel I was deprived of anything nor did I envy my friends who didn't have to do these things for money. I took great pride in knowing I earned the money in my pocket and no one just gave me a handout or allowance of performing household chores. It wasn't all work for me I played all the sports though junior high and through high school but I always found the time to put a little cash in my pocket. Ramblings from an old man and USMC veteran looking back on his years growing up and feeling great pride in knowing I had the best childhood anyone could have had. The following generations I pity not knowing the joy I experienced and the simple joys they will never know because they all keep looking for the next best thing. Thanks for reading this entire post, LOL, I know most won't!
Speaking from experience... You have most definitely heard a parent that you know say something like the following: "I can't wait until they graduate from high school and move off to college, then I can have my life back." You have heard this in some form from some flippant mother. Well, my mother couldn't wait for me to enter 1st grade so she could retire as a parent. So once I was off to gradeschool, that was it. No more parents. Ever again. My dad died when I was 12, and I was asked, "The funeral is on Thursday, are you going?"
I was 12. Hell I didn't know how this was real. I couldn't believe it myself, even then. From that point forward, having not the slightest hint of wisdom, moral support, understanding or anything surely led to the following 10 years of trying to understand death itself. Unfortunately, those in the Catholic community around me weren't particularly concerned about any of it, and didn't have much to say. No relatives seemed concerned and there was no one and nothing to guide me.
For the next 10 years, I had to figure out just about everything a person takes for granted who has actual parents. I can assure you it does not proceed well for people like us. If we manage to figure anything out or retain any morality, the obstacles in life still stack up way beyond the comprehension of the average 'normal' person with two parents (or even one devoted parent.) We might as well been delivered straight to the devil's doorstep. By our own parents.
Essentially we were dropped into this world alone. Yes, I had older brothers, but they basically fled, one becoming a total sociopath (the favorite), and the other just went away never to return (the scapegoat). Me? The youngest? Just ignored. Left to my own devices. I chose a moral path, but by doing this I faced even more difficulties. Sometimes I think back, and wonder if I had just joined the criminal friends I always ended up with, I could have learned to steal cars, deal drugs, steal stuff, etc, and probably would have been better off. Instead, I chose to pursue some kind of existential quest for truth, meaning of life, God, etc, and boy that didn't make life one bit easier. If this is also the life you chose for yourself, I can sympathize. The difficulties never end. One day, still in your 30s or even 40s, some odd thing will occur to you, something you never thought about your entire life until that moment, and no matter how stable you have become, it can cut into the normal day.
It never goes away. I never came up with any answers, forgiveness or not, of just how human beings could do this to their own children. It's still astonishing, but it's clear, it just never occurred to them that it ever mattered. A long time ago, I used to feel alone, but since then it seems there are millions of people like me, and now I look at it differently. Articles like this usually hit home for me, and I wind up writing long responses, so I apologize, but I have no other answers. It always reaches back into my own childhood, or hell, all the way to yesterday--the entirety of life. I am willing to bet it's pretty much the same for you, and all I can say, it just never goes away. I have no idea how to settle it, explain it, change it or practically how to ever deal with it. I guess it's a good thing I never got into alcohol, which is probably the usual 'remedy' but instead I dived headlong into the alternative health world. So that probably did me some good.
I always tell parents, you better not ever take your kids for granted, they WILL remember. If later in life they're nowhere to be found, well, you know what you did. If your kids are still there, taking care of you, guess what, you succeeded, you did a good job. Kids don't just run away on their own accord. People can make mistakes. Destroying your kids' lives has got to be one of the worst crimes a human can commit. To create a life destined for pain and suffering--for that entire lifetime.
Whatever you've discovered within yourself, and none of us will ever know, that keeps you going, I hope you never let go of it or lose sight of it, your ability to reflect on these things makes you one of the most valuable people on earth. Thanks.
So much to this topic — innocence, proper formation of children, proper parenting, even what determines what is right and what is wrong.
That last topic is perhaps the most important. What decides how a child ought to be taught? (I think of CS Lewis’ “Abolition of Man” and all that says on the topic.)
Well, ask anyone what determines right and wrong.
For kicks, ask ChatGPT. The little engine that will — almost with animated vigor — condemn the anti-trans agenda cannot find in its language model what determines right and wrong.
Christianity has an answer. And it’s a good one. But what are the foundations readily accessible to any adult — even the Nones?
It just so happens to be nature itself — human nature. Not the fallen one, but the noble one. The almost praeternatural one.
Sarah points out correctly that this “adult talk” with the very young is a corruption. That is, it ruptures the very person who is the audience. Our nature is not made for perversions, and no amount of attempting to train ourselves or our children otherwise will work.
That is, these corruptions are a piece with Marxism — which, at its core, denies human nature.
“Why have the nations ragged and the peoples devised vain things?” Ps 2
I agree with most everything. Also, especially spending most of my life on the west coast, I understand fully how the "bad" person is the one who manifests a lack of acceptance of what almost just yesterday would have been considered the bizarre or untoward. I will say, however, that as I moved out into the adult world I thought more than several times that perhaps my parents had not prepared me that well for the real world, not the way we wish it to be. In fact, in that respect and others I also have looked at my parents as childlike in certain respects. That said, the child-as-friend thing does not work well and we see a societal majority peopled now by those never really parented.
Yes, it's certainly true that we have a problem on both ends: Childhood innocence is not protected when it should be, and adolescents are not prepared for the world that they have to enter. Remember that we are called to be child-like, not childish. Innocent, not juvenile.
Well said. I believe that it's normal for childhood to be a happy time. Observing this on the individual level helps one to understand the significance of the traditional narrative of a primordial age of peace and innocence, before the Fall.
This is really important and lovely and poignant. I've noticed that children of unmarried parents, or divorced parents, often end up "parentalized," that is, taking care of the parent instead of the parent taking care of them.
In my opinion, the Sexual Revolution redefined childhood. The Revolutionaries needed for the kids to be "resilient" and "sexual beings from birth." If we really see children as innocent, helpless and needy, we adults could not go on gratifying ourselves, and casually switching out our sex partners. We'd be too ashamed. So we redefine childhood.
In short, I really appreciate what you've written here. I actually did a speech a couple years ago about this, and I'm still working out the ideas. The speech was called "The Global Ruling Class Likes Pedophilia." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2TwoYr3TNo&t=283s
Children don't have life experiences, or at least hopefully don't have life experiences, requisite to properly cope with such topics. Consequently they tend to follow the lead of the adult presenting the topic when choosing how to act. Groomers frequently take advantage of this trait in children. Parents who love their children try to install the sense of a loving and safe environment in their young, a sense from which they can draw comfort when confronted with difficulty in life. Christians are able to teach their children about the ultimate source of peace, Christ.
I'm 70 and my mother and father were both kind and loving parents but they made sure not to spoil us. I remember as a toddler being included in the family chores as a fun game to be included in. Soon I was challenged by my Dad once around 5 or 6 when he was taking out the trash and I was going with him and he asked if I was strong enough to carry the trash to the cans. I said yes I was strong enough, the trash bag was heavy for me but my Dad was cheering me along all the way. I remember being out of breath but feeling satisfied I was able to do it. Guess who got the task of taking the trash to the cans after that. Once many weeks later my Dad observed me dragging the trash cans up to the back porch and putting the trash in the cans and then drag the cans back down the driveway to the curb. He asked why I did that and I said "It's easier to drag the cans because they have a handle." He laughed and said why don't you put the trash in the large toy wagon we had and that might be easier. I took the trash down since then in the wagon. Birthdays was one big present and ice cream and cake, sometimes in addition to the big present my mom would include school clothes as my birthday came just before school started in the fall. Christmas was a big deal! Getting the tree was a family affair and everyone got a voice in which tree to get and we all helped tying it to the roof of the car. We put the tree up but did not decorate it until December 23rd as a family and we sang Christmas carols all while decorating it, big fun even in my teen years. Being Irish Catholic we went to midnight mass except for my Dad who never went(because he stayed behind to put all the presents under the tree and assembly any toys that needed it.) and when we returned everything was in place, Santa had come while we were at mass and everything looked beautiful. We were allowed to open one small gift and then to bed. Both of my parents grew up in the great depression and both were veterans of WWII and their Christmas's growing up were not as jolly as the ones they provided for their children. I remember once at 18 I asked my mom once what was the best Christmas gift she got as a child. She replied an orange. I was about to laugh but I saw her looking like she was going to tear up so I stopped held her hand and said I was sorry. She then told me with a smile that having the big Christmas was as much fun for her and my Dad as it was for us! I remember my Dad's words of advice he said a few times "I'll not handicap my children by making life easy for them." We got no weekly allowance for doing household chores, that was doing our part as a family member. If I wanted spending money I had to make it myself. Lucky for me I lived in the times of glass bottles and you could get a nickel for each bottle until they lowered the refund to two cents. I remember well using that wagon to walk up and down the road looking for pop bottles and always finding plenty. Back in those days to sound like an old foggie I could redeem 5 pop bottles and in return get 25 cents with which I could purchase a 10 cent comic book, a 5 cent 7 ounce coke, a 5 cent chocolate bar and a pack of bubble gum. I also collected wild blackberries and sold them to neighbors. As I got older I mowed lawns, shoveled driveways, cleaned gutters, baled hay, broke colts and many other jobs while growing up. Not once did I ever feel I was deprived of anything nor did I envy my friends who didn't have to do these things for money. I took great pride in knowing I earned the money in my pocket and no one just gave me a handout or allowance of performing household chores. It wasn't all work for me I played all the sports though junior high and through high school but I always found the time to put a little cash in my pocket. Ramblings from an old man and USMC veteran looking back on his years growing up and feeling great pride in knowing I had the best childhood anyone could have had. The following generations I pity not knowing the joy I experienced and the simple joys they will never know because they all keep looking for the next best thing. Thanks for reading this entire post, LOL, I know most won't!
Speaking from experience... You have most definitely heard a parent that you know say something like the following: "I can't wait until they graduate from high school and move off to college, then I can have my life back." You have heard this in some form from some flippant mother. Well, my mother couldn't wait for me to enter 1st grade so she could retire as a parent. So once I was off to gradeschool, that was it. No more parents. Ever again. My dad died when I was 12, and I was asked, "The funeral is on Thursday, are you going?"
I was 12. Hell I didn't know how this was real. I couldn't believe it myself, even then. From that point forward, having not the slightest hint of wisdom, moral support, understanding or anything surely led to the following 10 years of trying to understand death itself. Unfortunately, those in the Catholic community around me weren't particularly concerned about any of it, and didn't have much to say. No relatives seemed concerned and there was no one and nothing to guide me.
For the next 10 years, I had to figure out just about everything a person takes for granted who has actual parents. I can assure you it does not proceed well for people like us. If we manage to figure anything out or retain any morality, the obstacles in life still stack up way beyond the comprehension of the average 'normal' person with two parents (or even one devoted parent.) We might as well been delivered straight to the devil's doorstep. By our own parents.
Essentially we were dropped into this world alone. Yes, I had older brothers, but they basically fled, one becoming a total sociopath (the favorite), and the other just went away never to return (the scapegoat). Me? The youngest? Just ignored. Left to my own devices. I chose a moral path, but by doing this I faced even more difficulties. Sometimes I think back, and wonder if I had just joined the criminal friends I always ended up with, I could have learned to steal cars, deal drugs, steal stuff, etc, and probably would have been better off. Instead, I chose to pursue some kind of existential quest for truth, meaning of life, God, etc, and boy that didn't make life one bit easier. If this is also the life you chose for yourself, I can sympathize. The difficulties never end. One day, still in your 30s or even 40s, some odd thing will occur to you, something you never thought about your entire life until that moment, and no matter how stable you have become, it can cut into the normal day.
It never goes away. I never came up with any answers, forgiveness or not, of just how human beings could do this to their own children. It's still astonishing, but it's clear, it just never occurred to them that it ever mattered. A long time ago, I used to feel alone, but since then it seems there are millions of people like me, and now I look at it differently. Articles like this usually hit home for me, and I wind up writing long responses, so I apologize, but I have no other answers. It always reaches back into my own childhood, or hell, all the way to yesterday--the entirety of life. I am willing to bet it's pretty much the same for you, and all I can say, it just never goes away. I have no idea how to settle it, explain it, change it or practically how to ever deal with it. I guess it's a good thing I never got into alcohol, which is probably the usual 'remedy' but instead I dived headlong into the alternative health world. So that probably did me some good.
I always tell parents, you better not ever take your kids for granted, they WILL remember. If later in life they're nowhere to be found, well, you know what you did. If your kids are still there, taking care of you, guess what, you succeeded, you did a good job. Kids don't just run away on their own accord. People can make mistakes. Destroying your kids' lives has got to be one of the worst crimes a human can commit. To create a life destined for pain and suffering--for that entire lifetime.
Whatever you've discovered within yourself, and none of us will ever know, that keeps you going, I hope you never let go of it or lose sight of it, your ability to reflect on these things makes you one of the most valuable people on earth. Thanks.
So much to this topic — innocence, proper formation of children, proper parenting, even what determines what is right and what is wrong.
That last topic is perhaps the most important. What decides how a child ought to be taught? (I think of CS Lewis’ “Abolition of Man” and all that says on the topic.)
Well, ask anyone what determines right and wrong.
For kicks, ask ChatGPT. The little engine that will — almost with animated vigor — condemn the anti-trans agenda cannot find in its language model what determines right and wrong.
Christianity has an answer. And it’s a good one. But what are the foundations readily accessible to any adult — even the Nones?
It just so happens to be nature itself — human nature. Not the fallen one, but the noble one. The almost praeternatural one.
Sarah points out correctly that this “adult talk” with the very young is a corruption. That is, it ruptures the very person who is the audience. Our nature is not made for perversions, and no amount of attempting to train ourselves or our children otherwise will work.
That is, these corruptions are a piece with Marxism — which, at its core, denies human nature.
“Why have the nations ragged and the peoples devised vain things?” Ps 2
Why indeed?
Because they reject what they are.
I agree with most everything. Also, especially spending most of my life on the west coast, I understand fully how the "bad" person is the one who manifests a lack of acceptance of what almost just yesterday would have been considered the bizarre or untoward. I will say, however, that as I moved out into the adult world I thought more than several times that perhaps my parents had not prepared me that well for the real world, not the way we wish it to be. In fact, in that respect and others I also have looked at my parents as childlike in certain respects. That said, the child-as-friend thing does not work well and we see a societal majority peopled now by those never really parented.
Yes, it's certainly true that we have a problem on both ends: Childhood innocence is not protected when it should be, and adolescents are not prepared for the world that they have to enter. Remember that we are called to be child-like, not childish. Innocent, not juvenile.
Well said. I believe that it's normal for childhood to be a happy time. Observing this on the individual level helps one to understand the significance of the traditional narrative of a primordial age of peace and innocence, before the Fall.